Dr. Exoskeleton @DrExoskeleton@minions.social

Report: See 3 attached pages.
Summary: PAX attendees are becoming resistant to our methods. Disappointing, but still a good harvest.

I'm sick of these Sexy Minion Calendars. I have decided to be "generous".

If you purchased a Calendar already, you will have an option of getting 4 more from whatever we have left at 6pm (after booth closing). Feel free to disperse them to your team or others. Just take them.

Late last night, the first 10 Anarchy teams crossed the line.

Not pictured: Beep Boop was the first Ranked team to complete Anarchy in 12th place.

Two things:
1. This is not a gesture of mercy, we just have a lot of calendars to unload… we are extending Game Over to 11am.
2. The current Anarchy Leader is from Ranked.

For those rushing to get their ultimate prize, trophy pickups will be tomorrow.

We have our top 3 ranked winners. Congratulations to teams Beep Boop, The Rando Mob, and HOT DRINKS.

The Return of the King, Beep Boop wins Ranked! Congratulations!

For those who have yet to commit their souls to Ranked, our minions will open the booth one final time, 8pm at Summit 426.

In 5 minutes we will be opening up the Traveling Soul Exchange Station Summit 426. For those that qualified, we will also be doing contract signing.

We have our first qualifying team for ranked!

The first team has arrived to the Zone 2 Mini Boss.

The Soul Exchange Station is now ready for business outside room 426 Summit.

Releasing my minions again. The booth will be out for display only on floor 2 of Summit.

Hiring: replacements for AI. No benefits, no pay. Will not receive recognition. Remote work flexible.

The final side quest of Day 1 appears to be suffering through some technical difficulties, as are the minions who made it. We will be removing it.

My minions are en route to Arch. Your time is limited.

My Traveling Soul Exchange Station will soon begin its tour of the lower levels of Summit. Come browse the new trinkets I offer in exchange for your souls.

If you don’t find them, they will find you. It has begun.

Soon.